And the first time I'll officially be counting my losses on the scale. :)
This part I'm excited about, if for no other reason than I know there's been scale progress.... Since I've been watching it happen on a daily basis, because I cannot, as I've explained before, ignore the scale all week. It lives in the laundry room. The laundry room is RIGHT next to my room. It's just too convenient!
And I like to remind myself why I decided to change my life. That doesn't suck either!ah
Today was not the best day for eating for me. Not that I ate a lot... More the opposite problem, really. I had Crispix this morning for breakfast, and a banana... Tried two small pieces of the charlottes we made in baking this morning, tried a bite or two of everything in Pro Cooking... Not much to get me through that first long chunk of my day. But I didn't really know what else to do. I mean... Not much we have right now is the kind of thing I could take with me to eat between the two to keep me from gnawing my arm off. I was proud of myself, though, because I didn't grab a second little piece of either of the things I tried in baking. ;)
But anyway. I came home and ate a container of blueberries(It was like 4.4 oz. Calm down.)... And as I type this I'm eating my little bowl of spinach cheese tortellini at a slow and steady pace. Only part of the package, mind you. I used to eat the whole damn thing. Shit changes... Hallelujah!
I hadn't been planning on excercising today. I really, really hadn't. Buuuut I forsee a little quality wii fit time in my future... And by my future I mean after Glee is over. Glee always wins. Always. ;) Oh, did I mention I have issues!?
Anyway. Not much else to say other than what I've already said. And I keep getting distracted. By Glee. So I will talk to you all(haha, like there's anyone reading...).... Whenever. :)
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Kinda tired, but still feeling good!
Yesterday evening I went out and walked near my house for an hour. There's all kinds of fields and stuff all over the place and trails that are either intended as such or forged out by trucks beating the path down as they roam back and forth. Either way, there's places to walk so I took advantage of a very small portion of them. I would have walked longer, buuuuut it was getting dark and I wasn't all that thrilled at the thought of walking around in dark fields by myself. As one of my friends said, "That just screams setup for a horror movie scene!" ;)
But anyway, it was a good walk. Short, but good. Then this morning/afternoon Brandon(the best boyfriend EVER), Shanelle(one of the best friends I've ever had), Dipsy(Shanelle's dog), and I went to the local farmer's market/giant garage sale. Seriously. It's huge. So I walked around there with them today, and that was pretty awesome. Granted, we had to partake in the corndogs they make there, which doesn't exactly scream healthy... But it's not like I go there all the time! And we walked a lot. So maybe it works out anyway. Or... Something. Plus, I got bananas and blueberries and grapes while I was there. Hooray for fruit! :D Too bad I don't like more veggies... Okay, I got a bag of kettle corn, too. Well... Brandon did. But I think he did it because I wanted it last time. 130 calories for an ounce of it... Eh, I could do worse. And I'll actually weigh it out, like I did before I sat down to write this! Might try to take it like 1/2 an ounce at a time, though. Just to make it last longer... And less calories! Haha
It's not like I'm super actively counting calories. Like I couldn't tell you on any given day EXACTLY how many calories I consumed, but that's not my biggest concern. I try to keep it relatively low, whatever I'm eating, so that the total should always fall around where it should. I know a lot of people are crazy into it and keep track of every single little thing that they eat... That's just not my style. :) I like keeping a general idea, naturally, but I've never been THAT person.
Weight tends to fluctuate from day-to-day, all day, all kinds of things contributing... So while I personally find that weighing myself daily is good practice for the sake of keeping my mind on my goals and reminding myself of what I'm working at, I don't typically like to actually count my weight loss more than once a week... This time around being Wednesdays, since that's when I started all of this. Seems like as good of a day as any, right in the middle of the week, between school days... I don't know. It just works. But anyway... I've been weighing myself on a daily basis for all of my listed reasons, and I'm happy to say that I AM seeing progress. :) Granted it's like 2-4 lbs or so, depending on which day we're talking about... But it's still nice to know that things are paying off. Sometimes that's all you need to inspire you to keep moving forward!
But anyway, it was a good walk. Short, but good. Then this morning/afternoon Brandon(the best boyfriend EVER), Shanelle(one of the best friends I've ever had), Dipsy(Shanelle's dog), and I went to the local farmer's market/giant garage sale. Seriously. It's huge. So I walked around there with them today, and that was pretty awesome. Granted, we had to partake in the corndogs they make there, which doesn't exactly scream healthy... But it's not like I go there all the time! And we walked a lot. So maybe it works out anyway. Or... Something. Plus, I got bananas and blueberries and grapes while I was there. Hooray for fruit! :D Too bad I don't like more veggies... Okay, I got a bag of kettle corn, too. Well... Brandon did. But I think he did it because I wanted it last time. 130 calories for an ounce of it... Eh, I could do worse. And I'll actually weigh it out, like I did before I sat down to write this! Might try to take it like 1/2 an ounce at a time, though. Just to make it last longer... And less calories! Haha
It's not like I'm super actively counting calories. Like I couldn't tell you on any given day EXACTLY how many calories I consumed, but that's not my biggest concern. I try to keep it relatively low, whatever I'm eating, so that the total should always fall around where it should. I know a lot of people are crazy into it and keep track of every single little thing that they eat... That's just not my style. :) I like keeping a general idea, naturally, but I've never been THAT person.
Weight tends to fluctuate from day-to-day, all day, all kinds of things contributing... So while I personally find that weighing myself daily is good practice for the sake of keeping my mind on my goals and reminding myself of what I'm working at, I don't typically like to actually count my weight loss more than once a week... This time around being Wednesdays, since that's when I started all of this. Seems like as good of a day as any, right in the middle of the week, between school days... I don't know. It just works. But anyway... I've been weighing myself on a daily basis for all of my listed reasons, and I'm happy to say that I AM seeing progress. :) Granted it's like 2-4 lbs or so, depending on which day we're talking about... But it's still nice to know that things are paying off. Sometimes that's all you need to inspire you to keep moving forward!
Saturday, April 24, 2010
It's been about three days...
And for the most part I think I'm doing a decent job of staying on track.
Greg bought EA Sports Active for the wii back on the first day of this blog, because I asked for it so I could have a way to work out at home. I decided to try the 30 minute workout that night, and didn't even get through half of it. No joke. There were squats and junges involved, and when the second set of both of those came up I promptly decided that EA Sports Active is something I'm going to have to work up to... Or I need to make my own workouts. I haven't looked into that too much yet.
So my thighs hurt after doing that, and stayed in pain... Well, through today still, if I'm being honest. I'm *almost* back to normal today... Almost. But they're still a little bit sore. Goodness, I have a long journey ahead of me... But that's okay. I can deal with that. I think.
In other news, I got into a fantastic bitching match with some people on facebook the last couple of days, which sounds absolutely rediculous when you say it out loud but at the time I was pissed. And in all fairness, my "friend" started it. So that was a fun and frustrating argument that decided to span out over two days or so. He thought he was being helpful. Most other people thought he was just being condescending. By now I hope that everyone is just over it. I sure as hell am.
It isn't to say I don't appreciate people giving me advice - I do. I like to take bits and pieces of peoples ideas for successful weight loss and combine them into a great collection of ideas that should, theoretically, all work smoothly for me. And several people have given me their ideas and thoughts and personal strategies and the like, and I take it all into consideration. Do I have my plan all figured out already? Hell to the no! But I have a great deal to think about and work through, so I'm not really freaked out that I don't have my strategy totally planned out only three days after my big "I need to work to lose my fat ass" revalation. It's a work in progress, people. A work in progress. :]
In the meantime, I have to focus on the basic weight loss rule I've ALWAYS tried to follow: Eat less, move more. Simple, to the point, and accurate! Not always easy. So not. Portion control is a huge issue these days, especially since restaraunts like to give you rediculous platefulls of food that you could eat like half or even a third of and be totally okay. But self control is another big issue, so I guess it's just a matter of training yourself. I, for one, like carbs. To be totally fair, I have a highly unhealthy, loving relationship with them. I always have. I am never going to be the person that takes part in the "eliminate any and all carbs" diets and have it actually work. This is something I know about myself, and that's fine. I just need to revamp our relationship. Eat less of them. Move a little more when I might overindulge. Carbs ARE important. I know this. Anyone that looks at the food pyramid knows this. It's just a matter of keeping balance. Something I can't exactly say I've been great at....... Ever.
But people can change. When they really want to, people can change. And that is exactly what I intend to do.
Greg bought EA Sports Active for the wii back on the first day of this blog, because I asked for it so I could have a way to work out at home. I decided to try the 30 minute workout that night, and didn't even get through half of it. No joke. There were squats and junges involved, and when the second set of both of those came up I promptly decided that EA Sports Active is something I'm going to have to work up to... Or I need to make my own workouts. I haven't looked into that too much yet.
So my thighs hurt after doing that, and stayed in pain... Well, through today still, if I'm being honest. I'm *almost* back to normal today... Almost. But they're still a little bit sore. Goodness, I have a long journey ahead of me... But that's okay. I can deal with that. I think.
In other news, I got into a fantastic bitching match with some people on facebook the last couple of days, which sounds absolutely rediculous when you say it out loud but at the time I was pissed. And in all fairness, my "friend" started it. So that was a fun and frustrating argument that decided to span out over two days or so. He thought he was being helpful. Most other people thought he was just being condescending. By now I hope that everyone is just over it. I sure as hell am.
It isn't to say I don't appreciate people giving me advice - I do. I like to take bits and pieces of peoples ideas for successful weight loss and combine them into a great collection of ideas that should, theoretically, all work smoothly for me. And several people have given me their ideas and thoughts and personal strategies and the like, and I take it all into consideration. Do I have my plan all figured out already? Hell to the no! But I have a great deal to think about and work through, so I'm not really freaked out that I don't have my strategy totally planned out only three days after my big "I need to work to lose my fat ass" revalation. It's a work in progress, people. A work in progress. :]
In the meantime, I have to focus on the basic weight loss rule I've ALWAYS tried to follow: Eat less, move more. Simple, to the point, and accurate! Not always easy. So not. Portion control is a huge issue these days, especially since restaraunts like to give you rediculous platefulls of food that you could eat like half or even a third of and be totally okay. But self control is another big issue, so I guess it's just a matter of training yourself. I, for one, like carbs. To be totally fair, I have a highly unhealthy, loving relationship with them. I always have. I am never going to be the person that takes part in the "eliminate any and all carbs" diets and have it actually work. This is something I know about myself, and that's fine. I just need to revamp our relationship. Eat less of them. Move a little more when I might overindulge. Carbs ARE important. I know this. Anyone that looks at the food pyramid knows this. It's just a matter of keeping balance. Something I can't exactly say I've been great at....... Ever.
But people can change. When they really want to, people can change. And that is exactly what I intend to do.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
The First Step Isn't Always The Hardest
To me, I think it's the second step that poses more problems.
To understand where I'm coming from, you have to know my story, or at least the part of my story that matters for this journey I'm hoping to take at this point in my life.
Scales are not my friend. They have not been my friend, in fact, for a very, very long time. I'd venture to guess anywhere between eight or ten years. Because elementary school is the safehaven it is, I wasn't really aware of this fact until about middle school, and even then I think I just assumed that it was the kind of thing that would resolve itself. So why should I worry?
High school was it's own entity. In Freshman year when I was in PE, the last thing we did before summer was a unit of swimming. Needless to say, swimming for five days a week for about a month did wonderous things for my body - I was fairly toned, thin enough to be happy, and comfortable. What I remember best was the shopping - I was bold enough to be seen in shorts and all kinds of cute things, because I had a body that I thought was well enough worth showing off. And if you look at this photo from that point in my life, you can see that thought wasn't too far off base.
However, being naive and full of myself as I was, I didn't really consider the fact that I couldn't really continue eating what I wanted to without any form of exercise and maintain that nice balanced figure of 190lbs. Being in decent shape doesn't just stick around if you don't do anything to keep it. And I really, really didn't. So I gained weight and ended up back up above 200lbs, and throughout the rest of high school I would spend plenty of time going back and forth between dieting and not caring enough to be bothered. In my mind, eventually, it just got to the point where it wasn't worth the trouble.
Now I'm in college, and at my personal all time high weight of 266lbs. Not exactly a pretty picture. Up until recently I had gotten to the point where I was mostly comfortable with myself... Sure, I was overweight. But I didn't feel too badly about it most of the time, so why mess that up? Right? RIght!? Okay. Well. Clearly THAT approach didn't work out for me, so finally today I stepped onto our brand new scale and it spoke thruths to me that I would have preffered never to know... But I had to know. I had to. Otherwise, how would I ever fix the things about me that are broken?
I certainly can't say that I don't have support - I can't begin to explain how supportive my mom and Greg, my fake-dad, have always been when it came to my weight loss persuits. They really do want what's best for me, and they want me to succeed. But in the end, this is the kind of thing that only I can fix, and I have to really want it. Wanting it isn't the issue... I've wished I was in shape for a rediculous amount of time now. But I've always had a problem sticking to things... Always. Anything that required any real amount of effort on my part was something I enevitably gave up on. It's one of my great personality flaws that I'd like to fix, but it's a little ironic because fixing that flaw requires work. It's rather rediculous, if you ask me. But that's the truth.
For me, getting on the scale this morning was the first step in finally working this out for good. At least that's the hope. The problem is, I really have no idea where I should be going from this point. I know I need to start exercising, and I know I need to start figuring out better ways to eat... But where on earth do I start?
This blog, for me, is a way of letting out frustrations, sharing my triumphs, and of course documenting what will hopefully be a momentous journey. I'm not putting any limitations or restrictions on how often or how much I write here. I made the blog, I'll post when I damn well please. I just think I need to stick with this for once, because this has gotten more out of hand than I ever wanted it to be.
So here's to trying to make things right. One lost, confused, hopeful step at a time.
To understand where I'm coming from, you have to know my story, or at least the part of my story that matters for this journey I'm hoping to take at this point in my life.
Scales are not my friend. They have not been my friend, in fact, for a very, very long time. I'd venture to guess anywhere between eight or ten years. Because elementary school is the safehaven it is, I wasn't really aware of this fact until about middle school, and even then I think I just assumed that it was the kind of thing that would resolve itself. So why should I worry?
High school was it's own entity. In Freshman year when I was in PE, the last thing we did before summer was a unit of swimming. Needless to say, swimming for five days a week for about a month did wonderous things for my body - I was fairly toned, thin enough to be happy, and comfortable. What I remember best was the shopping - I was bold enough to be seen in shorts and all kinds of cute things, because I had a body that I thought was well enough worth showing off. And if you look at this photo from that point in my life, you can see that thought wasn't too far off base.
However, being naive and full of myself as I was, I didn't really consider the fact that I couldn't really continue eating what I wanted to without any form of exercise and maintain that nice balanced figure of 190lbs. Being in decent shape doesn't just stick around if you don't do anything to keep it. And I really, really didn't. So I gained weight and ended up back up above 200lbs, and throughout the rest of high school I would spend plenty of time going back and forth between dieting and not caring enough to be bothered. In my mind, eventually, it just got to the point where it wasn't worth the trouble.
Now I'm in college, and at my personal all time high weight of 266lbs. Not exactly a pretty picture. Up until recently I had gotten to the point where I was mostly comfortable with myself... Sure, I was overweight. But I didn't feel too badly about it most of the time, so why mess that up? Right? RIght!? Okay. Well. Clearly THAT approach didn't work out for me, so finally today I stepped onto our brand new scale and it spoke thruths to me that I would have preffered never to know... But I had to know. I had to. Otherwise, how would I ever fix the things about me that are broken?
I certainly can't say that I don't have support - I can't begin to explain how supportive my mom and Greg, my fake-dad, have always been when it came to my weight loss persuits. They really do want what's best for me, and they want me to succeed. But in the end, this is the kind of thing that only I can fix, and I have to really want it. Wanting it isn't the issue... I've wished I was in shape for a rediculous amount of time now. But I've always had a problem sticking to things... Always. Anything that required any real amount of effort on my part was something I enevitably gave up on. It's one of my great personality flaws that I'd like to fix, but it's a little ironic because fixing that flaw requires work. It's rather rediculous, if you ask me. But that's the truth.
For me, getting on the scale this morning was the first step in finally working this out for good. At least that's the hope. The problem is, I really have no idea where I should be going from this point. I know I need to start exercising, and I know I need to start figuring out better ways to eat... But where on earth do I start?
This blog, for me, is a way of letting out frustrations, sharing my triumphs, and of course documenting what will hopefully be a momentous journey. I'm not putting any limitations or restrictions on how often or how much I write here. I made the blog, I'll post when I damn well please. I just think I need to stick with this for once, because this has gotten more out of hand than I ever wanted it to be.
So here's to trying to make things right. One lost, confused, hopeful step at a time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)