Let's Just Say My Motivation Has Taken a Vacation.

And I seriously wish I knew when it was coming back.

For the majority of five months, I've been very into my weight loss endeavors. I was enthusiastic, excited, and ready to get this stupid weight off for good! And I lost 40 pounds with all of that lovely perseverance. And then all of a sudden... It seems to have dropped off the face of the earth. :(

Oh where oh where has my happy weight loss face gone, oh where oh where can it be....

*Siiiiiigh*

The good thing is I'm not really gaining any weight. I'm at least managing to maintain between 224 and 226. This is good. This makes me feel like all hope is not lost. I'm just not as on top of things as I have been. I have treats a little more often, exercise has almost gone out the window(I'm glad I have my Step class at school, otherwise I fear I wouldn't be getting ANY exercise at all!). Seriously. I ran once last week, and that was in class. The week before that, I ran twice, outside of class. I really should get back on top of that so I don't lose all of my hard C25K work... Maybe I should find a 5K to run in the next month. Maybe maybe maybe.

It's just been very frustrating to me to suddenly have no drive for this whatsoever. Like... I still want to reach my goal, and I know that it's possible... I just need to get my butt back in gear again, and it's proving more difficult than I would like it to be.

A Happy Wednesday!

Last week, amidst the turmoil and stupidness that was my strange weight fluctuation, I had to bump all of my tickers up to 230 from 229, because it just wouldn't go back to 229 for me in time for Wednesday. This week, I stepped on my scale... And got to move my tickers down 4 pounds! I guess this is just what I get. A week and a half or two of stupid ups and downs and stuckedness, then a whoosh of awesomeness! I can deal, if this is the pattern that continues. ;)

So pretty much that puts me at 40 pounds lost! And that is VERY exciting to me, because... Well.. Do I need more reason than that to be excited!? I think not! 40 pounds is a big freakin' deal! 45 will be just a little sweeter still, because that's my halway mark! So crazy to me to think I've come this far in just under 5 months... That is SO awesome, and I'm just gonna keep on losing. I absolutely WILL NOT fail this time. It's just not an option when I've made it this far already!

Today I went out and I ran, but rather than another 45 minute run I went back to W3 of C25K to work on speed. Where I would have walked before I jogged at my normal pace, and where it tells me to run... Well. I run. ;) Faster than my normal pace. It was really weird, because W3 workouts are way shorter than what I'm used to doing at this point... But that's no big deal. I still felt like I worked because of those faster intervals.

I really want to work on my pace, so I want to start doing things like that more often. Thinking about it, it seems like a good idea to do speed work like this on M/F(Theoretically moving through some of the other weeks, too), then do a normal endurance run on Wednesdays to break things up. That way I still keep up my endurance for time/distance, and I get to work at improving my speed. Seems like a good plan to me, but the only real way to know is to try it out for a week or two and see. Obviously this week is a little screwy for that, so I'm planning on doing a 45 on Friday, just because. Put my plan in motion next week! ;)

Run For The Me-One!

I did it you guys!!! I ran my very first 5K yesterday with my mom... NO walking whatsoever!

Of course there were things that lead up to that. I woke up with Brandon at the ungodly hour of 6:30, which I realize is a normal time for many people... But I really don't do mornings, so that itself was a big hurdle to get over! LOL. So we got up, got dressed, I had a bowl of cereal, and before I knew it it was 7:45 and we were leaving the house for the park!

Once we got there and hunted down parking, we met up with my mom, grandma, and sister, and my fake-dad Greg showed up a little bit later. Mom and I checked in and got our numbers and our chip timers, along with our shirts and a silly goodie bag. We got our bibs pinned on and our chip timers on our shoes and we were ready to kick this race's butt! But first they herded us all ontothe baseball field and lead us in some silly ass warmups that most people just stood there and ignored, followed by a couple of people giving us speeches, all that jazz...

Then all of a sudden, they were counting down and we started to run! It was pretty crazy right at first with everyone starting in the same place and all heading in the same direction... Talk about a stampede! But it didn't take long at all for things to separate out - Faster people moved ahead and all that... Mom and I fell into the middle-ish area, maybe more towards the back... But that didn't matter! We just did our thing and jogged and jogged and JOGGED!

I think the worst thing for me was the hills! My neighboorhood is basically flat, everywhere. So I never have to deal with hills when I run at home! I hadn't expected my run to be flat yesterday... It was just hard to look ahead and see hills when I've never had to deal with them before. Mom was great for that though. She was my own personal cheerleader through the whole run! ;) AND she put up with my whining... Which there was a lot of. There's always a lot of whining involved when I do long runs like that, but normally I'm by myself and nobody has to listen to it! She said she didn't mind though. <3 Love my mommy!!!

After all of the hills and the running and the crazy, we were there! We were running along the parking lot, then down towards the finish line... We made a point of more or less sprinting the last little bit, because you have to finish strong! ;) We finished our race in 44 minutes! Well... Technically 44:00.2, but whatever!

It was a really great feeling to finish the race and get a cold bottle of water. We just stood around and chilled for a little while... Got free jamba juice from the snack table... All that good stuff. ;) Once we'd sufficiently calmed down we went to the cars and figured out lunch... Pizza! :D Which was delicious and awesome and all that... And I also ended up having for dinner later. LOL. Went home, got a nice shower in... And spent the rest of the day just chillin' with Brandon. It was definitely a good day!

Sometime in the end of my run I was saying to my mom that I felt like I never wanted to do it again... But I think we all know that isn't really the case. I'll do it again... And probably fairly soon! ;)

Whoosh! :D

So yesterday after a long week and a half of climbing up thern coming back down three pounds, I was finally back to the lovely place of 229. This morning, all I wanted really was to see 229 again, to be sure I was really back. Instead, I saw 227. 227!? That's awesome!!! And so not deserved with the way I handled dinner last night(3/4 of a frozen tombstone pizza, anyone?). Really though, I'm past the point of weight loss always making sense, and I'm just rolling with it. I'm not going to sit here and be delusional and thing I can eat like that every night and still lose! ;)

So that was exciting. Another exciting moment was on Thursday the 9th, when we did a timed mile and a half run in Step Aerobics! That was pretty awesome, because I've never, ever, EVER been able to jog the entire time for a timed run in school. EVER. This also meant that for once, I wasn't one of the very last people! :D That was a goal of mine, since that's almost always been my trend when it comes to running, since before it was mostly... Yaknow... Walking. So I finished my run in 21 minutes and 36 seconds, which isn't phenominal by any means but it's right in line with the pace I've been doing. I actually might have done better, but I wasn't running in my normal shoes because I forgot to take them with me that day like a dork. Oh well!

My very first 5K ever in my whole entire life is TOMORROW! :O Actually, by this time tomorrow it should be all over. :) That's crazy! I'm so super stoked about this, and I also totally can't believe I'm ACTUALLY going to do it! Mom and I plan on jogging the ENTIRE race, which is gonna be super awesome! We also have some people coming out to cheer us on... :D My grandma, my sister, I'm pretty sure Greg(My fake dad! :D), and Brandon the wonder boyfriend are all gonna be there, and I'm so excited! This is a pretty big deal, guys. For real!

Other than all that, I really have nothing else to say today! I imagine tomorrow will be another posting day, since... Yaknow... I'm running my 5K and Imma have things to say about that, probably! ;D

Isn't It Amazing...

When you suddenly realize that you're not, in fact, a crazy person? And that the goals you've set for yourself aren't as impossible as they seem? I'm having one of those days, and let me just say that it came at a perfect time!

Let me first say this: I wanted to throw the scale out the window recently. My last post I was 230, but had given myself the 229 because I figured I was just fluctuating like a weirdo. Well, the next day I was 231. Then 232. And it was all I could do to make myself get on the scale the next day, because I was half convinced it was going to go up again. Instead it went back to 231. Then 230. And here I am today, at 230 again. Just waiting for 229 to come back... Then something lower, to prove I can. LOL. I don't know about anyone else out there, but when I have these moments it makes it seem like getting past it is impossible! I know it really isn't. I'll just feel better when I see like... 228. Or lower. :D

ANYWAY. That's my explanation for why my, "I'm NOT a crazy person!" moment was so nice today. You see... I thought today I should challenge myself a little more with my running, because my very first 5K is going to be THIS weekend on Sunday! Super exciting! But I figured I should probably make sure I can actually jog that long, since I've been hoping to jog the whole thing, no walking. So I set out today with a route planned for 3 miles, and a 45 minute run on my C25K app... And I freakin' did it!!! I ran 3.16 miles in 45 minutes! When you add in the distance from the 5 minute warmup/cooldown walks, I traveled 3.7 miles today. It was really amazing! Definitely a challenge, but the point is that I did it and I am just SO beyond proud of myself! I am so stoked for this race on Sunday, it's crazy. Mom and I are gonna rock it, fo' sho'. ;) We're pretty much badass like that!

Things are otherwise going smoothly in my life... School is still fine, I'm still enjoying step aerobics in a rediculous sort of way. I do think, though, that I need to really start taking food with me to school. I tried to do the cafeteria thing and it's just not the best way for me to do this. Too many tempting options... Like pizza. And chicken strips. No, it's better if I just bring food of my own in a lunchbox or something and keep it in my locker for Step. That way it's easy to grab after history so I can eat! Much easier to stay on plan this way, methinks. Hooray for that!

The End of a Seriously Awesome Thing

So, I told you guys that back in like... May? I think it was May... ANYWAY. A few months ago I joined a summer challenge on 3FC that ran through September 1st. Well... It's September 1st! The challenge is officially over. My goal was to lose 20 pounds - I started at 249, with a goal of reaching 229. For the past 3 days, I've seen 229 on the scale. This morning, I saw 230, which I largely attribute to eating late last night thanks to my weird class schedule. Keeping that in mind, I gave myself the 229 today. I changed my tickers, I'm considering myself at goal. The whole point in daily weigh ins is to understand the fluctuations that happen all through this process, so I'm using that knowledge today. :)

I LOVED this challege. Seriously, I cannot begin to express the serious amounts of support that came from the people over there. Towards the end it got rather sparse, we lost most people, but what really counted to me was that I stuck with it the whole way through! I also had one other person posting consistently with me in the end, and she's fabulous. :D For real though, I don't know if I would have gotten this far without that group. Definitely lucky that I hopped in there!

Since this was coming to an end, I actually have joined another challenge with a goal of reaching onederland by Christmas. Now, that's about 30 pounds in basically 4 months. I *think* this is doable... Maybe. If I fail, no big deal really. Progress is progress either way, and if I don't quite make it by Christmas, I can always try to finish it off by New Years!

I'm in my second week of school, and so far it's been... Interesting? Hahaha. I ended up having to drop a class, so I have a break of time where I can actually eat... Which means I end up eating in the cafeteria. I make efforts to hunt down healthier options... Salads and whatnot. It's what I have accessible to me, so I work with it. We did our first actual day of exercise in Step Aerobics last night, and that was pretty awesome! Definitely a challenge for me and my less-than-fabulous coordination... LOL. I managed to keep up pretty damn well, though, and I really enjoyed the workout. Hooray! Now I just need to get back on top of running.... Though I think that might get easier with Step thrown in, because I get more variety in my exercise. Maybe. We'll see!

EDIT: I went out and ran, and it was AWESOME. This really shouldn't come as a surprise to me when I reach the end of 30 minutes straight of jogging, but it continues to blow my mind that I seriously go out there and do it! My very first 5K race is coming up in just eleven short days... So super stoked! Even more stoked to have my mom running it with me. Of course, she's all crazy and has a relay she's already planning to do next! I was going to do it until I found out the required pace of something like a 12ish minute mile? Something like that. Basically way faster than I am, since I'm currently doing a mile in just under 15 minutes. Whatever. That's still super awesome. Someday I'll work on my speed... Someday...