A Post Entirely Unrelated To Weight Loss

I know I haven't been on here in a few days, no updates, blah blah blah... But that's not what I want to talk about right now. Instead, I have something I need to talk about, because I am scared shitless.

I have two people who I consider to be my best friends. Two people who I love, care about, and want to keep in my life as long as I possibly can. But there's something called a fungal lung infection, which is going to make that very difficult with one of them.

If you google fungal lung infection, you mostly see things that will tell you they tend to go away on their own. Usually, they're no big deal. Antifungal medications get rid of them, and the person infected goes on their merry way. But there are different stages to these infetions, and my friend doesn't have a great outlook at this point. There's a surgery they might normally do to remove the infected tissue, but her infection is spreading. So the next option would be to first contain the infection, then do the surgery. Containing the infection takes about six months of I'm-not-sure-what, but they're concerned hers might be spreading too quickly for them to be able to contain it. If that is the case, and they really can't do anything to fix it... She'll be in organ failure within a year to a year and a half. Let's just say the outlook isn't looking to great.

In her words, "There's a 90% chance I'll be dead before 2013."

How am I supposed to deal with this? I love this girl to death. I have so many dreams and things that I wanted to do with her... And I may not get to do them. Instead, I may have to watch her die right in front of me. Of course I have every intention of being there for her as best as I can, but sometimes that just doesn't seem like enough. For the love of god, she's only 20 years old... She's barely even getting a chance.

I'm afraid for her, and I'm sad for her, and I just don't know what to do other than be right there for her as much as I possibly can... I just wish this wasn't happening. I love her too much for this. There's only one Shanelle in my world, I don't want to lose that...

So Far, I can Say...

I don't think I'm going to be a big fan of yoga.

It started Monday, we didn't really do anything... I missed yesterday's class because I managed to his any possible inconvenient stop light on the way there, making me five minutes late but the instructor has a "Don't come in if the door is closed" policy, so I didn't make it for that... So today was the first official day, and I just wasn't really feeling it. I think I kind of can see the appeal, maybe... But eh. Not for me. But I have another five weeks or so to go through, so maybe it will grow on me. We shall see.

Tomorrow evening I'm going to run W2D2 of C25K, which should be all kinds of eciting and whatnot. I'll most likely do that after yoga... And probably with the company of a dog! I'm going to be house sitting for a friend's mom who's going to my friend's graduation. That's all the way in Santa Barbara, so I got enlisted for house/dog sitting. I don't mind, I'm getting paid for it. ;) But anyway. I'll probably try to get Markie(the dog) to go out with me while I do my run. Should be fun for a change!

The scale has been a jerk, which is nothing new for the last two and a half weeks or so. I'm planning on using the net few days of house sitting to take a break from the scale and focus on other stuff... This is either a recipe for disaster or a really good idea. Only time will really tell... Ugh. I do not have this kind of patience!

Aside from all that, there's really nothing all that new going on with me. Just trying to keep doing the right things, hoping something gives way soon before I start pulling my hair out or something. Blech.

Absent for a Few Days!

I know, I've been gone. But it was my birthday this weekend, so you basically have to forgive me. Or something. ;)

What I can report is that I completed week 1 of C25K with no real issues, which is pretty awesome! :D I can also say that Brandon and I went to Santa Cruz on Saturday, as his birthday surprise for me(along with going to this diner on the way that was AMAZING). We had a lot of fun there, and yeah, we indulged in funnel cake... But whatever. It was delicious, and I regret NOTHING. On that morning, I weighed in at 250.

Yesterday(my actual birthday!) I weighed in at 249, which didn't suck. Then I proceeded to eat steak, potatoes, bread, broccoli, cake, and cheesecake. Because people let me pick what I wanted, and that was what it turned into. Freaking insane. But delicious. But the scale wasn't happy this morning and was back to 251 this morning. I'm doomed to live in this little range forever, methinks!

I had been planning on running W2D1 today, but it never happened... I wasn't feeling well this morning, then it was hot in the afternoon, and by the time I got home after our first yoga class and walking a bunch around campus, it was dark. And I won't go out running when it's dark out, so I kinda got screwed. I'll do it tomorrow, though, so whatever. Hope the 90 second runs don't kill me. D:

And that would be my weekend in a quick and very brief nutshell! :]

Everything evens out in the end.

Or at least it did this week. :)

After all of my fretting over the scale this week, my official weight today was back to being 250. I can deal with this! Way better than the 252 I'd been seeing. Hopefully we get past 250 soon.

I did W1D2 of C25K yesterday evening, which I was proud of, though not as happy about all at once. I couldn't put in the same amout of effort I did on the first day, because my hip had a little bit of a twinge in it. Not terribly comfortable, so I knew I had to take it easy while going through that workout. I did finish it, though, still running when I was supposed to, as long as I was supposed to. Well, it was actually a very light jog this time, but whatever. Gotta do what I gotta do! I'm going to put off day 3 until Friday to give myself a chance to let my stupid hip recover. Try to stretch it here and there, whatever. Hopefully things will be back in working order by then!

For not having exercised today, I'm feeling surprisingly tired right now. At the same time, I'm feeling very much like a lump, because I haven't left the house at all, all day. Blech. I'll have to make sure I go outside for something tomorrow. Go to the store... Or something. Anything?? Haha. We'll see. :)

Stupid Choices Lead to Consequences.

Isn't that part of what weight loss is about?

Yesterday was terrible, after my run. Not in the sense of I had a bad day... Not really, I had fun, I enjoyed spending time with my friend Shanelle. See we went to the county fair, because there was nothing better to do with our Sunday evening. So we went, walked around, looked at stuff, whatever... And then we did stupid things. And by stupid things, I mean we ate stupid things.

See, at the county fair(And the state fair, when it's around) they sell these blocks of curly fries... And i say block because it really is a fucking BLOCK of curly fries. And we decided to share one, because curly fries sounded good, and we were at the fair where, let's face it, food judgement is impared. I think it gets high from all of the fumes from the animals or something.

ANYWAY.

We hadn't planned on eating the whole thing. We really only planned to eat half of it, because we knew it was terrible for us. But we ended up sitting at our table for a good hour or so, talking and being silly and whatever, and all of a sudden that block of curly fries? Yeah. It's GONE. With the exception of a ton that ended up on the ground, and a bunch of crumbly pieces on the plate. If we're lucky, that was MAYBE 1/4 of the block. Maybe. And that's being excessively optimistic. You know the sad thing? The fries sucked. They were bland and oily and not really that good... So why in the hell did we eat them!?!? I mean, yeah they were $7 curly fries... But I'd rather lose the $7, if I could do it all over again.

The other big kicker was that after eating all of that oily potato mess, we felt kinda gross, kinda off... And we realized we needed something of substance in our stomachs. And we ended up at Mel's Diner, and I mean... We all know diner food. There's not really such thing as a decent option. I ened up having a louissiana hot sausage sandwich... It was actually really good, and I really enjoyed that, but I wish I had enjoyed it without the stupid block of curly fries ahead of it!!! Ugh... I'm just so frustrated.

See, I exercised for the last three straight days, and my weight decided 251 was an awesome place to hang out. Fine, whatever, I can deal. It would go down eventually. After my stupid, stupid food choices of yesterday, today I'm up at 252. What. The hell. I mean, I'm not really surprised, but at the same time I just feel like I'm not getting anywhere anymore. I won't give up, because I've just been so proud of myself for doing the right things for the most part, and I've been enjoying it... But god damn, can a girl ever catch a break? This is rediculous... And so frustrating. Even more so because instead of exercising like I might normally after that kind of day, I had planned on this being a rest day... Since, again, I worked out the last three days. I would exercise anyway, but I'm kind of generally sore... So it's probably best to give my body a chance to chill out a little.

I just wish I had willpower of steel or something. :/

That was AMAZING!

So earlier today I did Week 1, Day 1 of the C25K program. I told myself I was going to do it when I had so much fun thinking about it yesterday. I WANTED to start last night, but didn't because it got too late. But today, today I woke up at 10, and I think I was out of the house around 11:30... After I snapped a few photos of myself, just for fun!

It. Was. AWESOME.

I had no idea what to expect from myself starting this... Since, like I said before, I've never been great about running... At all. Ever. But the only way to find out is to try, and I tried today... And I DID IT! And I feel amazing for it! Week 1, Day 1 is a five minute warmup, intervals of running for 60 seconds and walking for 90 seconds, and a five minute cooldown. Came out to 31 minutes out and about in my neighboorhood... And I have to say that I totally rocked it. ;) During a couple of the running intervals I kind of felt like dying, but that was always when I only had about 10 seconds left of running anyway, so I just pushed through to the walking. :D It was pretty phenominal.

When I got home again I was totally sweaty and gross, but of course rather than immediately taking a shower I got on my laptop and have been here ever since, rambling on about this to anyone who will listen! AND I had a fun moment when I went onto mapmyrun.com and found out that the route I took today came out to 1.84 miles! That's ALMOST two whole freaking miles! How super awesome is that? Very, of course! I felt SO proud and SO accomplished... I can't wait to do it again in a couple days. :D I just hope my scale stops being a jerk! I was back up to 251 today, which at this point I'm blaming on water retention, since my muscles aren't used to being worked as much as I've worked them in the last couple of days. Oh well! Shit happens. :)

What in the world am I thinking??

... I'm thinking I am SUPER STOKED!!! :D

I decided something today, which it seems like I've been doing on a daily basis recently! Always about my weight loss. Always the next big revelation in my head that has me doing this that or the other. I love this one though. LOVE. And I haven't even started yet.

See, I have to tell you that I'm the kind of girl that loves a challenge. I love trying to figure out how to do things, pushing myself beyond what I think I can do. It's just sort of how I was raised. Truth be told, though, I tend to be a little lacksidasical about it most of the time... Because while I love a challenge, I am also rediculously, outrageously lazy. Hence the whole fat thing... Among other reasons. But whatever! ANYWAYS, I've decided to challenge myself with something, which will totally help with the weight loss stuff, too!

I am going to try to do the C25k program!!!

Someone out there is looking at the above statement with furrowed eyebrows, wondering what the hell I'm talking about. I know it. C25K stands for the Couch-2-5K Program. It's a starter program for people who want to learn how to run.

Yeah. Run. Like those people you see on sidewalks and stuff, moving kinda fast. That kind of run. ;)

Basically it has you do intervals of walking/running to build up your stamina over the span of 9 weeks. By the end of that 9 weeks, you should be able to run a 5K(which is a little over 3 miles), or for 30 straight minutes. The program has three workouts a week, which are meant to be spaced out so you don't wear yourself down.

Now, if you know me, this is going to sound entirely rediculous. I am not the sort of person who runs, or at least I never have been. But you know what? I've always wished I were that sort of person. Someone who finds running enjoyable or thereputic or whatever. Obviously I'm not guranteed to feel that way about running just because I'm taking on some silly challenge, but who knows? There may be a born runner buried somewhere underneath these layers of fat, just dying for me to discover her. That's what I'm hoping for, anyway.

So in light of this decision, I went out this evening to buy a few things... A couple new workout tanks, since I've been doing t-shirts and things for Zumba but I'd like a little more air when trying to run... And some new shoes! The shoes I've been wearing to the gym for working out are kind of pathetic... Not in the sense that they're super worn out or anything, they're just kind of cheap, flat, and not that great. I got them for $15 at Walmart, let's put it that way. These shoes I bought today, though... I think I'm in love, and I haven't worn them other than trying them on in Famous Footwear. I ran in place a little, walked a bit... They're just so. Freaking. Comfortable! And I felt grat about buying them... They were $48 and change, but I had a giftcard from a couple Christmases ago that still had $28 and change on it, so I only really paid $20.25 for my new shoes. I am SO stoked, you have no idea. I also bought multivitamins that my Dr. recommended to me a while back... Which really has nothing to do with C25K, but I've been meaning to do it... So why not throw it in here? ;)

I'm planning on taking advantage of the fact that there is a C25K iPhone app available for $3 in the app store. It has all of the workouts programmed in, and has audio alerts to tell you when to walk/run. You can use your own music in the background of the app, which I think is really cool. It seems like a pretty polished app for the most part, and reviews are mostly good... So why not?

I plan on starting this tomorrow, either in the morning or in the evening... Or middle of the day, depending on how warm it is outside. I want to jump on this like... Now. Right now. I would've gone out for the first run when I got home if it hadn't been nearly ten o'clock! But now it's 10:30, so I'm DEFINITELY not going out for my run until tomorrow. Dang.

So that's my new and exciting news! I even have a 5K picked out that I'd like to do if I stick with this. Maybe my mommy will even do it with me! ;) *hint hint!* Look at me, all... Planning and stuff! Aaaah! So exciting. :) Can't wait to see how I handle this!