So I went out and ran W3D2 this morning. Still not easy, but it wasn't as bad as Monday... I think my biggest problem going into my final run was that I had such a mental roadblock about it, since Monday kicked my ass so much. So getting close to the end of the final run, I was struggling once again, and once again, I was trying to mentally talk myself though it.
And then this song came on.
It's not for everyone. I know it isn't. It's dance-y and what some might consider techno-ish, definitely pop. I've heard it on a couple commercials here and there, too. It's called Lucky(Hot Stuff Short Mix) by Lucky Twice. Yeah, it's a little obnoxious, but it has a good beat so it went onto my playlist. And today, I was so glad I threw that in there! It came on near the end of my final run, and I started thinking of all of the things that make me a lucky girl in my life to get me through the last 40 seconds or so.
I am lucky because I'm so young, and I've managed to figure out something that works for me. I know that there are many people out there who have many years on me, but still can't quite figure out the magical thing that makes them get out there and go.
I am lucky because I have an amazing boyfriend, who loved me before I even decided to embark on this journey. He loved me 20 pounds ago, he loves me wherever I go from here, and he certainly loves me even if I can't finish a run(although I did finish it!).
I am lucky because I have a mom who jumped right on the C25K train to come along with me, so that when I run my first race in September she can be right there with me to celebrate all of the things I've been working to accomplish. Who has always tried to push me to do good things for myself, but also realized that it was never going to happen until I wanted it badly enough to really do it for myself. Who is supportive of all of my efforts, and understands just how rough and tumble this road can get sometimes.
I am lucky because I had the ability and will to motivate myself to try something new, something I ever would have thought possible for me in a million years. Running is one of those things that was always foreign to me, and I never thought I'd be choosing to run of my own accord... But here I am, struggling - Sure, but god damnit, I am doing this for real!
I am lucky for so many reasons... So many more than I've put here, for sure. But those four things, in shortened versions, got me through my final run, all because of that stupid song coming on at just the right moment. I made it through, and I'm so proud of what I've managed to accomplish so far... All of it. The running, the 20 pounds lost, the growing love for myself, the confidence. I am so worth this, it's rediculous. :)
An update on the dying friend front: Surprise! She's not really dying. Her doctors were idiots, and she got new ones. They want to know why people have been telling her she was going to die, when the likely outcome is more along the lines of... She's gonna have a lung and a half, or only one lung. That's it. I mean, that sucks in its own way, but that's NOTHING compared to... You're going to die. So. I'm happy to report that I still have her, and she's not going anywhere!
Back on the subject of running for a moment... I need new headphones. Mine suck. And they like to fall off of my ears, which really isn't so great when you're trying to get through a freaking run! I've been looking around on the skullcandy website, and found a couple things I think I could be happy with... Maybe I'll ask mom for a pair for part of my birthday IOU. ;D
So I'm in a very happy headspace right now, about pretty much everything. Except yoga. I pretty much still hate that. But after today there's only three more weeks... Thank god for small favors!
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